29 Jul 2011

OK, Cupid: The Brian Wallace dating profile.

 

My self-summary: 5’10”, one bad knee, near-sighted, pretty-in-shape and loyal.

What I’m doing with my life: aaaahhh, God. I guess I’m shaping America’s youth? 

I’m really good at: spotting a breaker ball, spotting a lying student, keeping balls in their cages

The first thing people usually notice about me: I usually go unnoticed at work. If they do notice me, it is because I’m red in the face and yelling.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food: I don’t read a lot, except my fantasy baseball web sites. I watch a lot of baseball. I’ll eat anything as long as I can pronounce it.

Six things I could never do without:

 
  1. Baseball
  2. My Whistle
  3. Advil
  4. My sealy posturepedic
  5. The sound of a bat hitting a homer
  6. A good scotch

I spend a lot of time thinking about: what could have been

On a typical Friday night I am: if it’s in season, I’m probably on a bus headed back from a game with my team. Summer: watching baseball. Winter: waiting for spring training. 

The most private thing I’m willing to admit: I once struck out for an entire season. And I’m not talking about with the ladies.

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Out of Character, Friday at 8pm, 3209 N. Halsted St. in Chicago. $10 + BYOB.